My Busy/Love Life

There are no words to describe how busy I feel these days.  My blog posting history proves I've been lacking in the "free time" that I dedicate to myself.  So, let me take a few moments... on my lunch break... to go back and fill you in. 

My last post was seniors pics, before that was the beginning of spring, and before that was the announcement of my boyfriend!  :)  That's what I'm going to talk about.  Things are wonderful and within the past four months we have taken two major turns that have just about thrown me for a loop.  To be completely honest, and I guess I should be, we've been seeing each other since last August.  I'm the one who refused to admit to being in a relationship until Christmas.  And let me explain... I simply didn't want everyone up in my personal business when I wasn't sure how it was going to go.  We live in a small community where we've both been almost our entire lives and we know a lot of people.  I just wasn't ready to go through all of that blah stuff until I felt more secure and stable in my feelings for him. 
So, Christmas rolls around and he finally convinces me to announce that yes, it's official, we are in a committed relationship.  Doing this was a relief.  Our families were supportive and excited!  We've been having a blast since then.  He has a daughter and I have my son and up until this point we've sort of created this little distant family that spends time together and sees each other when we all can. 
Now, like within the last week, turn number 2 has happened and the big M word has finally surfaced.  Marriage.  Forever.  Long-term.  New house.  Babies!  These are all the things that have been discussed and decided on.  I'm very happy and almost giddy to be writing this but I have to get it out... I'm in love and it's time to start planning our future!  Hot Tamales!  Holy Cow!  I still haven't processed this all the way, but ready or not I can't keep letting my past scare me into doing nothing because I'm so afraid of failing again. 
My mother asked me the other day what more I needed my boyfriend to do in order for me to fall more in love with him?  What more did he need to do for me to find him more desirable?  What more could he do in order for me to trust him more?  How much more time did I need to go by before I feel that I can't be without him?  I don't have an answer to any of these questions because there's not one.  He's already done and proven everything that he had to.  I'm in love with him, for who he is as a man on the inside... the way he holds my face when he kisses me is just an added bonus!!!!! :)  Nothing but myself is holding me back.  I've really spent a lot of time praying for guidance and clarity as to whether or not this is who I'm meant to be with and so far everything has fell into place and looks to be moving towards forever.

No, he has not proposed yet, but I'm pretty sure he's made a visit to a certain local jewelry store!!!! Shhhhh, that's between us!  :)  I'm not 100% sure what my future holds, but I'm 99.9% sure.