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Friday, September 28, 2012

End of a Month/Beginning of Another Life


The end of another month is here.  I remember, as if it were just yesterday, telling my sister that the beginning of August feels like the end of summer to me because that is when school starts and that, to me, is the end of summer.  At that time, our conversation was taking place at the beginning of August and now like a day has sped by and it’s two days until the end of the month and a week to her wedding!!!  We’ve been planning this joyous event for an entire year and I just can’t believe it’s so close. 

I know there isn’t a soul out there that could even come close to really understanding what the past year of planning this wedding has really been like for us (except other brides and wedding planners).  The bride, me, and my mother have really felt it all and have been the three people doing everything, no hired wedding planner.  The bride has done 50%, if not more of it, completely on her own.  That may not sound like a lot to some, but when you factor in that she’s a full-time student and works two jobs outside of school… planning a wedding of this magnitude was a lot to handle and shuffle and organize and strategize over the months.  I’ve probably only been responsible for about 25% of it with my mother taking care of the other 25% and this past week has almost sent me into breakdown mode.  I only have 1 job to concentrate on and I’m at my limit where my mental capacity is concerned.  And beyond all of that, I’m so stinking excited and happy about it that I’m not in a bad mood.   I’m just anxious and feeling a little bit overwhelmed with all the tiny details that the three of us are still trying to put into place and make sure go accordingly. 

Through the midst of my anxious and overwhelmed feelings I am so thankful.  Its times like this that bring into my front view how truly blessed I am to have the family that I do.  We are all so close and there for one another.  This next weekend all of my immediate family will be staying in a huge condo together!  I think this is the first time we will all be under one roof for two nights since I was a child.  Now we have my son, the only grandchild for my parents, and future spouses thrown into this family of ours and all I think is how thankful I am to my Lord for the blessings we’ve all been given through each other.  Family is such an important part of life and in times like this when we all come together it rings even more so.  

My fiancĂ© and I have discussed our many many options for saying our own vows and taking that step into marital bliss.  We want all our family to be standing around us to witness it, but do not want a wedding and do not want any sort of organized event.  It just takes too much time and money to plan and organize something like that.  After many conversations and lots of thinking, our options have come down to eloping either the weekend of my sister’s wedding, IN ONE WEEK, or having to wait until Christmas to elope when he’s home from this job.  I just couldn’t make that decision on my own.  He’s wanting it done and over with as soon as possible, I’m wanting all the family to be together for it, Christmas is just not the ideal time of year to do it because the holidays are so busy for us, blah blah blah, on and on and on we have went about this.  I finally decided to just lay it on my mother and sister for their opinions because the one major thing stopping me from doing it in a week would be taking attention or time away from the festivities around my sister and her fiancĂ©.  I would never, could never, do that if that’s what it would do or she would feel that way.  The first words out of her mouth when I presented her with the idea and was asking for her most honest opinion were… “Oh my gosh YES!!!!!” she immediately thought that would be the greatest thing and give us one more thing to be celebrating that weekend.  So, I’ve just kind of stepped to the background and let my mother and my sister and my fiance’s mother make a few little decisions, like where and what time.  So, it has been officially announced that we are going to elope under a gazebo in a public park Saturday afternoon, after my sister’s wedding rehearsal.  There’s another wedding happening at her chosen venue that evening so we have no choice but to rehearse from 11-noon and then we have to vacate the premises and cannot return to do any preparation for her wedding until the next day at 3pm, so in all reality my family and the out of town guests that will all be there for the rehearsal are going to have nothing to do from noon until 3pm the next day.  We are just going to be eating good food and enjoying the company of everyone together.  My mom thought that would be the most perfect time for us to say our vows to one another and have a small 15 minute ceremony, if you will, since EVERYONE will be in town to share it with and support us. 

Phew…. I’m a little exhausted from writing all that down and my heart is overjoyed at the exact same time.  God is good, life is good, and after everything my family and I have been through this past year, experiencing something like this, all of us together, is going to be a wonderful thing.  It is definitely going to be a weekend full of memories and TWO joyous occasions to remember for the rest of our lives.

October is my second favorite month of the year, so I wish all of you a very happy and blessed October.  Pictures will be posted soon of all our family events!  I’m going to be married on October 6th!!!!!!!!!!!! WOW J

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Nothing New in Life


“What’s new?”

“What’s new?  What’s new with you?”

“Well, I’ll just tell you what’s new!”

There is absolutely not a whole lot of anything new in my world.  Does this make me lame?  I swear for the first time, in a very long time, I spent this past weekend completely alone… At home, minus the new puppy, Elsa, doing nothing except watching my favorite TV series, reading, a little laundry, and eating.  It felt good except for the eating part.  J  I’m going to be out of town for the next two weekends in a row so I thought I should definitely take advantage of my alone, calm time. 

The changing seasons always take me by surprise.  Like it’s been so unbelievably hot this summer and we have set some serious records with the drought that we are still having, but Sunday night I walked onto my back steps to let Elsa tinkle and I could smell it.  Fall is approaching.  It was only 68 degrees out and it felt so good, and I was genuinely shocked.  Like deep down I never expected to see fall again!  We went from last week getting up in the mid-nineties still to this week, staying down in the mid-eighties and cooling off to the sixties at night!  Whoa!! It’s such a shock and my puppy thinks so too.  Something came over her out there in 68 degree weather so I grabbed a stick and away she went.  By the time it was over we had played and raked leaves until almost dark…. Now THAT felt good! 

The strangest part about all this is that this year has been a little deceiving.  The leaves here have all been turning the beautiful colors of autumn and falling off the trees because it’s been so incredibly hot and dry.  To the eye, it’s looked the fall for about 6 weeks, but the minute you step outside you are suffocated with 111 degree heat!  So extreme!  I wonder what this is going to mean for our fall season and then winter.

My camera has been put up, resting, for the time being.  I’ve just been too busy and focused on other things, but the next two weekends out of town are going to picture taking weekends.   I’m working on a project for a Christmas present and then it’s my little sister’s bachelorette weekend away in Dallas and we’ll be taking lots of pictures there! 
8-29-12
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I wrote the above post exactly a week ago and just never posted it!  I got too caught up in whatever I was doing and forgot to publish it.  So, on the contrary to my title up there, something new has happened.  My boyfriend's job ended in Montana and after a two day drive home we got to spend all of 30 minutes together before he had to leave to get back on the road for the next job.  I was desperately hoping for more time but the good news is he's only 6 hours away so I'll be going to him the next couple of weekends.  After our hugs and kisses of not seeing each other for almost 9 weeks he completely stopped me and, to my surprise, got down on one knee and officially proposed.  We've talked it over so many times that I guess I just assumed it was already a done deal but he knows how much I value the tradition behind certain things and wanted to make that happen for my sake.  I mean after all... I may have been the one to say we were going to be "tolerance partners" instead of spouses but all romantic gestures should not be forgotten!  Right??!!  Thank you Babe for that. 
On a more serious note, I have to admit that this feels weird but in a good way.  I honestly didn't think I would get to this point so fast, but I've prayed long and hard for direction and then strength to accept where that direction led me and when you know you love him... know deep down that you are in love with him... there comes that point where you have to chose to move forward or chose to move backward.  This girl has NO intention of ever moving backward again.  It was too heartbreaking and too destructive to myself the first time.  So, as scary as it may be it's a choice to be made and lived everyday.  I feel capable now, where as before I didn't and it feels real good!