Real Life (#1)

There have been some things happen to me throughout the past year that stick out in my mind as being real things.  Before I start describing these things let me define “real” as it means and feels to me, that way we are all on the same page.  Something that is real is something that can never be changed by society or altered by any one person specifically.  It is what it is and how it is, and that is genuine.  Someone that is real is a person that has very grounded ideas and opinions on everything and is not affected or changed by the outward society.  They coexist very peacefully but stand for what they believe.  They  would gladly share this with anyone who asked but they do not force it upon others. 

On December 9, 2010, right in the middle of our divorce, my ex husband and I lost our home and all its contents in a devastating house fire.  Thankfully no one was home and therefore no one was hurt but the volunteer fire department, we lived outside city limits, were able to do nothing but contain it and so it was a total loss.  I had been moved out of the house for about 6 weeks at the time and so I didn’t lose any of my clothes or books, but everything else was lost.  When we went back the next morning it looked like a bomb had been dropped on our house.  Nothing stood except partials to the two end walls of the house and everything inside had sunk into the earth making it look something like a crater.  Our home was not on a concrete foundation but on wood floors so once they burnt everything fell through.  I just cried and cried and cried and kept thinking over and over that all of our memories as a family were gone now and all my baby’s toys and belongings were gone.  As soon as the divorce was final we were planning to split everything that we could so Lil Man could have some things in my new house and keep some things in Daddy’s house and that way the transition wouldn’t be so hard for him.  Now, we had nothing left. 

View of the house from the front yard.

The things that people, complete strangers, do for you when you are in a crisis is absolutely remarkable!  People we didn’t even know were sending money and clothes and household supplies so my ex and his children could get themselves set up in a rent house quickly.  Even though we were right in the middle of our divorce I helped in every way that I could.  It was a very difficult thing to have to go through at a very difficult time in our life.  It was so surreal!  Divorcing wasn’t awful enough…. Now we have to go through losing every bit of our personal possessions and our home in a fire??  I believe that things happen for a reason and not just by chance, but to this day I still can’t figure out why those things had to happen at the same time like they did.  (I’ll be sure to write that one down so I can ask the Big Guy when I get to Heaven because I really want to know.) Somehow we persevered and our insurance took good care of everything for us. 

View of the house from the front yard during the fire.

About a week after the fire we were still getting so many things from people as donations that it was taking me and my ex to go through everything and figure out which child it would fit and if it was winter appropriate or not when we came across a bag of things sent from a woman and her son.  The story told to us when it was given by a friend of a friend was that this woman heard our story and she told her 3 year old little boy about my 3 year old, Lil Man, and he willingly went to his closet and started picking things to be sent to “the little boy whose house is on fire”.  In total we were given a small bag of clothes and 1 pair of little black and green New Balance tennis shoes.  You could tell they were well worn but from the minute we gave Lil Man those shoes and told him where they came from, he was completely attached  and told anyone who would listen…. “My got these shoes from another little boy who helped us when our house was on fire!”

View of the house from the front yard the morning after the fire.

View of the house from the front yard a little closer.  The tall thing standing on the left side of the picture is the refrigerator.

Just this morning I was waking Lil Man up to get him dressed for school and he was refusing  so I was pulling off his pajamas and putting on his clothes while he was still half asleep and when I grabbed the New Balance tennis shoes to put them on his feet I noticed how completely worn and smooth they are on the bottom.  If they were tires on your car you would slip and slide completely off the road every time it so much as even sprinkled. J  I sat still and thought to myself about the little boy who gave these just because he wanted to help and how my Lil Man has been so attached to them since just because some little boy wanted to help him and I realized that this story needed to be told because it is REAL.