Alone Life

Two whole days completely alone and I'm not quite sure what to do with myself.  All our laundry is done... both bathrooms are spotlessly clean... we are officially unpacked and as organized as we can be until more furniture is bought... a full week's worth of groceries is stored in our cabinets... I have nothing else to do to really be productive.  I've gotten so much accomplished in my alone time this weekend but it's been lonely at the same time.  I miss my Lil Man. 

I can still remember a year ago, which was the last summer in my marriage, and I was so miserable.  I was literally aching inside to simply be alone.  To be away from the man I was married to and the drama that came with him.  I wanted to run and never look back.  Even now I don't regret making the decision to finally leave, but it is lonelier than I anticipated it would be.  My Lil Man keeps me so busy and occupied during the week that the new adjustments in my life don't have the opportunity to sneak up on me and overwhelm... but on the weekends where I don't have much going on and I end up staying at home alone to be productive, it hits me.  Today was one of those days. 

On a happier note, my best friend's wedding is this upcoming weekend as well as Father's Day.  My mother, father, sister, and grandmother will all be coming into town and we will be spending all day Sunday together.  This is something to look forward to!  My family is so very close that it has really been hard on all of us since my parents and grandmother went to work out of state.  My younger sister, the only real sibling I have and the other half of myself, lives in a city about two hours away from me.  This is not too terribly bad.  Since I have more free time on the weekends, I drive to stay with her A LOT so we never go more than two or three weeks without seeing each other.  This weekend will be the first time seeing our parents and our grandmother since Easter.  And the only reason we're getting to spend this weekend together is because my parents are in Louisiana.  It's within a days drive.  When they are way up north or out west on a job we might go three or four months before someone flys home for a long weekend.  This is not my ideal situation for my family but it cannot be helped right now while work is so good for them.  They must go where the jobs are. 

I already fear that the week will begin a little slowly since I have a lot to look forward to this next weekend but hopefully it will be a good, slow week!